The Joys of Dress Shopping

For those who know me, you know I'm not exactly a fashion focused girl. So I've been looking on the dress shopping experience with a bit of trepidation. Early on, I thought I had found the perfect solution. I had found a dress on JCrew that I thought would be perfect for our wedding. And don't get me wrong, it looked great on and looked like it was made for me. So after I tried it on, I (in-typical-Kim fashion) called a couple friends to let them know. Everyone was super excited, asking me if I loved it. I believe my response was, "uh, sure. I won't have to have it altered." After I told Holly about it and telling her that I'd need her to see if and give me her opinion, she was convinced that this dress was just going to be horrible. Or at the very least not that great and then get herself into the sensitive territory of trying to be honest with me about not liking the dress. But once she saw the dress, her response was, "Wow. I really like it. I didn't expect to after hearing you talk about it, but it's really perfect." However, I decided to take my friend Jen's advice and at least go to to a bridal shop and look at all my options. Apparently the word is that you are supposed to just know "it" once you've found the right dress. hmmmm. My skepticism was high, but I agreed to at least rule out any other options.

There are some good reasons why I was trying to avoid this. One, I find dress shopping painful. And I hate to ask friends to come sit and just watch me play fashion-plate Barbie. Two, I'm horrible when I am given too many options. Life it easier for me to make a practical decision and avoid the stress. And lastly, and most embarassing to admit, I was afraid to crack the door on my own 'princess' complex. I mean, this is truly the one day--short of being invited to a White House dinner--when a girl will get to wear the big, fruffy dress. And no matter that I think weddings are 'overrated' and that it's only the marriage that truly matters, I do still have that little girl in the back of my brain that wants to be in the "princess" dress.

So Holly bravely and graciously agreed to accompany me in this moment. It wasn't as horrible as I feared. Holly has a great eye, and did an amazing job picking out dresses for me to try on. However, I did end up having my feared panic-stricken princess moment. I found a beautiful dress that I fell in love with. However, the dress was also full tafetta with an eight-foot train. Weighed over 10 pounds. Our wedding in Greece was NOT going to handle a ten lb tafetta dress. Not to mention the boat trip over to the church and the five flights of wooden stairs. Simply put, it was way too much dress for our "elopement-plus" wedding. However, it took an angst striken night of sleep to drive this rational argument home. Not to mention, Jeremy would not have been able to simply wear a pair of khakis and a button down shirt. As I brought the whole issue to Jer, I just wailed and cried but told him he could not simply just say, "Do whatever makes you happy." So after I finished my tirade, I looked at him sitting silently, and said "Aren't you going to say anything?" He said, "Nope. You told me I couldn't say what I'm thinking." sigh. I hate when he's right.

So we bravely ventured out once again. This time we were armed with some photos of dresses I was interested in. I had done extensive research and found several dresses that I believed would be the perfect cross between soft and flowy (i.e. lightweight), relaxed and casual, yet still a wedding dress. This journey took Holly and I down to parts of Denver we'd never ventured to. But this was the only store in the area that carried the designer I was looking for. This dress trial process was slightly more 'interesting'. While the first store seemed to stock all their rack dresses in my exact size, this second store apparently catered to a slightly more robust clientele. But strangely, trying on a wedding dress in size 22 and having to pin over half the dress behind me seemed to take the edge off the experience. And low and behold....I found a dress. Soft, flowy, lightweight and beautiful. Was it the one in the photo I brought in. Nope. Not even similar. But perhaps that's the lesson learned for my oh-so practical side.

Almost Harder to Stay Unmarried

As part of the fun in deciding to get married overseas, Jer and I have to make sure that everything is legal and legit in Colorado. But ironically, in Colorado it's almost harder to stay 'unmarried.' Colorado is one of the easiest common law marriage states. When Jeremy and I were buying our house two years ago, everyone kept telling us that we were 'common law' just for having jointly owned property. Talk about an awkward conversation with your mom when you tell her you accidentally got married on a technicality. In Colorado, there is no time period specified for how long you have to live together that defines common law. If you own property together, have a joint bank account or file taxes jointly, and represent yourselves as married in public, you are common law in the eyes of the state. For this reason, while we have the first two elements, we've been very insistent to our friends that we are NOT married.

So then, what will it take to get married overseas but still be legit in Colorado? Don't be surprised when you see this:

1. Go down to the County Clerk's office 31 days before we wish to get married to apply for a license.
2. Be over 18. Check. (Though if you are under 16, you can still get married with consent of parents or guardian, and judicial approval. Just bizarre...)
3. Don't be related. No blood test required. Check.
4. Both the bride and the groom must complete and sign the marriage license application. The license fee is $30.00. Each applicant must bring proof of identity and birth date, such as a current U.S. driver's license or a current passport.

• Applicants for a marriage license do not need to be Colorado residents.
• A marriage license may be obtained in any Colorado county and used within the State.
• Parties are not required to apply for a marriage license in the county where the ceremony will take place nor in the county where they reside.

Seriously. Could this be any easier? Just have both of us show up and have our driver's licences with us. We could even get a hunting and fishing license at the same time with no extra effort.

And how about the ceremony? Couples themselves may solemnize their own marriage. Wow. This essentially means that we could walk out front of the courthouse, scream "We are married", walk back in and sign the bottom of the sheet and be completely legit.

Others who can solemnize a marriage are judges, retired judges, magistrates, public officials, Indian tribe officials and clergy. But ironically, not anyone can solemnize a marriage. Although the couple may solemnize their own marriage, that does not mean a friend or relative can also solemnize their marriage. hmmmm...unless somehow your friend also happens to be ordained to perform marriage ceremonies. This interesting bit of information, along with some advice from Liz has led us to our preferred solution. Father Will. A little known fact is that anyone can become an ordained minister online. And Jer and I decided that our preferred option would be to be married by our friend, Will. And he has accepted. Though I'm not sure if it's the lure of becoming Prophet Will that is the motivating factor. But either way, we think the idea is perfect. It allows us to be married by someone we know and who actually knows us, who suits our personalities perfectly, and maintain the closeness and intimacy of a small ceremony. And since Colorado is so accomodating, that even if Will cannot make it to the wedding, Jeremy and I can always marry ourselves in front of a Greek fisherman blathing on about the Crimean War.