Greek Wedding Traditions

While Jeremy and I are not getting married in a Greek church or having a greek wedding in any traditional manner, I've been doing some research to find if there are any greek traditions we can incorporate into our wedding. The research has been fascinating and given a lot of food for thought.

In Greece, the church is usually within walking distance, so it is fairly easy for the family and friends (and the entire village) to celebrate the bride leaving home. I even found pics of brides riding donkeys to the wedding. Strangely, our wedding will not be too dissimilar but we will be riding mopeds to the church instead. And the groom often waits outside the church holding the bride's bouquet, where he hands it to her when she arrives. Somehow, I don't see Jer standing around holding a bouquet of flowers, so I may have to work on him on this one.

When the bride, groom and guests all enter the church together, there is no dividing the guests into those "for the bride" and those "for the groom"--everyone sits together. The idea being that the wedding is not just to unite the two people, but the two families. I really like this idea. And since I don't think we'll even have chairs at our ceremony, it sounds like the perfect reasoning.

The bride and groom also walk with each other down aisle, rather than the groom waiting at one end with the bride being 'given away' by her father. This is another tradition I really like. Don't get me wrong, I love my parents. But it has always seemed unfair that mom would be off to the side by herself. I would rather have everyone there with the ones they love. And since the wedding is going to be such a small affair, I like to think of it as all our families and friends surrounding us, supporting our decision, and giving 'us away.' Basically, everyone standing forward with us for the ceremony.

Greek weddings place a great deal of importance on the "Koumbaro" and the "Koumbara". This roughly translates to the modern best man and maid of honor. The Koumbari are essentially the spiritual sponsors of the couple. They are considered the equivalent of blood relatives to the families involved and are often chosen from the same families as the Koumbari of the parents or grandparents. Often there are additional ties of the Koumbari later becoming the godmother/godfather of child. I find this idea lovely. It seems that, especially in America, we live such 'mobile' lives. We rarely live where we grew up or where our families may still live. And this is particularly true of Jeremy and I, since wanderlust doesn't even begin to scratch the surface of our temperments. I truly believe the friends we make in life, especially those friends that stand the test of time, are the family we create for ourselves. I love the thought of Holly and Daryl being considered a part of our family. And I'm also more than happy to let Holly raise any child I may have. Oh, wait...that's not the definition of godmother?

The wedding ceremony typically has two parts--the Service of Betrothal and the Ceremony of the Sacrament of Marriage. The Service of Betrothal focuses on the ring exchange, with the priest blessing the rings and the Koumbari swapping the rings three times between the bride and groom's finger to represent the Holy Trinity. This part may be a bit hard to include in our ceremony. Frankly, if the Koumbari can just make sure to get the rings there, I'll consider myself blessed.

The Ceremony of the Sancrament of Marriage consists of the priest leading several prayers, then joining the couple's right hands, which remain joined for the rest of the ceremony. Okay, doesn't sound too hard, if just a bit awkward. Then comes the "crowning", where the bride and groom are crowned with flowered crowns or "stefana", which is attached by a white riboon. The crowns symbolize the glory and honor bestowed on them by God, and the the ribbon signifies the couple's unity. The "Koumbaro" then exchanges the crowns three times between the couple's heads. Then the priest offers the couple a cup of wine, with them each drinking from the cup three times. hmm...I'm quite positive here that Jer will in NO way be convinced to wear a flower wreath. Not unless we are drinking from the cup far more than three times. Though I have to say when I first read this part of the ceremony, I immediately envisioned 'Father Hobbs' pulling out a bottle of beer and offering to share that instead. lol

Also, it seems the reception has a number of unique traditions as well. For one, rather than throwing the bouquet to all the single girls at the wedding, instead the bride will write the name of single friends on the bottom of her shoe. At the end of the night, the names that are worn off are destined to be married. I find this idea much less humiliating than the last time I was the sole single girl at a wedding, and I hid in the bathroom until the traumatic moment had passed.

And one of the other charming traditions is the Bonboniere. The Bonboniere is a small box of sweets given away to guests on happy occasions. The Bonboniere consistes of an uneven number (typically five) sugar-coated almonds. The five almonds have significant meaning--wishing the new husband & wife: happiness, health, wealth, children & a long life. In Greece they are known as “Koufeta” (the Greek word for wedding favours).

Wedding dances seem to involve a great deal of throwing money. Guess this isn't so unusual since the end of the ceremony involves a lot of throwing of rice. And there are other unusual traditions, such as rolling a baby on the marital bed to encourage fertility (the "Krevati"). This involves a big gathering of the two families, relatives and friends all getting together the Thursday before the wedding to make up the marriage bed. Lots of eating and drinking is of course also customary, and followed by two young unmarried girls to make up the double bed. It is believed that the first one to get a pillowcase on will get married soon. Then all the people present throw money on the bed including gold coins to make the marriage prosperous, and then roll a small child on it for fertility. huh. Let's just pass that by.

http://greekweddingsandtraditions.com/2007/11/01/to-pin-or-not-to-pin/

http://greekweddingsandtraditions.com/2008/01/28/throw-rice-at-the-bride-and-groom/

Staying in Touch

OK! Finally an update. Things are getting pretty close and in our normal mode of procrastination, we have been slacking. But hey, if you know Kim and I we normally wouldn't even book a room until we got off the plane.

Anyway, I have been in correspondence with one of the moped (scooter) shops on the island. I already have a few of them reserved for the week before the ceremony for the people that will be there early to climb.
The catch is that anone who wants to rent one needs an international drivers license. Basically it's $15 and you can get it at your local AAA or online. You only really need one for the person actually signing the paperwork. Others can use it, just don't tell the shop. They really only need a valid license for the paperwork.

That's right, we will be scooter trash!
http://www.bike-rental.gr/

You can also call a cab if you really need one. I'll send that info later.

I've also researched the "phone situation". If you are an iphone geek (like we are), you can call AT&T to get on the international plan for $5 a month. Then your calls are $1.29 a minute while overseas. This will be painful. You can also dig up one of your old phones out of the junk drawer and get a new SIM card. You will need to confirm this is a GSM phone (typically on AT&T or T-mobile phones). This will give you an overseas (Greek) number to make things cheaper and yes it will work on the island. However, this option only really makes sense if you are going to be making inter-european calls. Not calls back to the U.S. http://www.onesimcard.com/?idmenu=4
http://www.ricksteves.com/plan/tips/mobilephones.htm

We are getting one so that people can contact us if they REALLY need to once they arrive in Greece.

However, we STRONGLY suggest just getting a phone card and using the hotel phone or a pay phone if you are going to be making calls back to the U.S. and within Greece. It's just simpler and cheaper. You can find them in the airport and in kiosks/shops everywhere once you land in Athens. There will also be internet cafe's to send email.

Goodbye to our little K2

As many of you have now heard, we lost K2 two days ago. I am more devastated than I can possibly explain. He was our baby. The kitten we adopted right after we bought our house. He was Jer's little shadow. Our little hunter. And our never ending source of amusement, love, and, on occasion, eye-rolling exasperation. For everyone who met him understood what an amazing personality he was. He was in a word, unique.

When Jeremy and I went to the local Humane Society two years ago to adopt a new kitten, he wasn't even on the top 3 list of the cats we were considering. But after getting there and meeting him, he was just so laid back. We thought, "perfect." The perfect lounge lizard. He would flop in your arms as you were holding him. So we brought our little ball of fluff home. Within a couple days we realized how completely we were duped. See, our little ball of fluff was only low key due to a kennel cold. He was suffering a case of the kitten sniffles. Within a week, our fluff ball turned into a complete bundle of endless energy.

There were times in that first year when Jer and I questioned if we would survive it. I've never had a cat (kitten or elsewise) that required so much time and attention. Right about the time we'd be heading for bed, K2 would be ramping up for his evening to hunt. Within two hours we'd be sleeping with a bedfull of toys--his kills. And he'd be pounching on any moving body part under the blankets. Jer started to have serious consideration as to whether we had made a mistake. I believe he mentioned, "nice fur" and "loincloth" several times. But we persevered. Jer started to spent up to 4 hours a night before bed playing with the kitten to tire him out enough for us to get some sleep. We discovered K2's love of hair ties. His capability to leap the couch. He preditection to carry his stuffed buffalo by the jugular. And his absolute need to sleep wrapped around my throat with his face stuffed in my neck. If we tried to lock him out the bedroom--which was vital while Fionn was recovering from her surgery--but he would sit outside our bedroom door and cry for hours. I took to sleeping two hours in bed with Jer and Fi, then sleeping in our guestroom with K2 so he could sleep with his mamma. He inserted his furry little self into every aspect of our lives.

And over time, he eventually did "mellow". He eventually needed to sleep. And his requirements for playtime came down to only a couple hours a day. Even though, two years later, Jer would still have to spend the first hour arriving home from work wrestling with or playing fetch/frisbee mouse with K2. Jer was without a doubt, his "human". Korat's are known for bonding with one person above all others, and Jeremy was definately his. He would follow Jer around the house like a shadow. And he was more than happy to spend his evenings laying on the arm of the couch, just licking Jer's hand to bathe his favorite human. He would occasionally take a lick on my arm, and would only end up with a disgruntled look on his face as if the taste of my skin offended him.

According to our research on Korats (which is the breed of cat K2 was), he had two modes--insane activity or velcro. When he was bored, he would come up, put his paws up on your leg, and let out the wail of "PLAY WITH ME!". And this would continue until you got up and found a toy and engaged in full playtime with him. His last, favorite toy was a black string that used to be a drawstring from a pair of Jer's short. K2 carried that string everywhere. And would just drop it at your feet and meow to request a start to playtime. And if you've never seen a cat play fetch for hours, or play cat frisbee, then you've never seen K2 in action. A hair tie never lasted long on a table in our house. The minute I'd take my ponytails down, I'd need only look across the room to see K2 riveted to what was in my hand. And he would literally leap the entire couch in his pursuit of chasing them. And his acrobatics were legendary. He would wait on the edge of the couch for you to toss his toy. Full backflips with a half twist were common. As were full back flips head first into our coffee table. The cat was single minded in his focus to hunt. We even wrapped one of the floor to ceiling beams in our house in an old climbing rope to keep K2 happy to climb inside.

But K2 became my kitty when it came to sleeptime. Ever since he was a kitten, he loved to sleep on me. I'm sure it was more due to my ability to sleep absolutely still in uncomfortable positions. And K2's favorite request was the "scoop". He would come up to me in the middle of the night, put his front two paws on my chest, nudge my face with his nose and request "the scoop". I would put my arm out and curved down toward my hip, and the cat would basically Nestle plunge backwards to plop into it. Then place his head on my shoulder and go to sleep. He was my little cuddly, spoon. And absolutely had to have human contact while sleeping. He loved being wrapped up as the inner spoon and completely sheltered. Just like he would have in a pack of kittens.I've never seen the like. And needless to say, am having a hard time sleeping without him now.

And among my favorite K2 moments:
--His habit of pawing at my nightstand books looking for a hidden hair tie. I used to purposely stash one there—if it only one of his—to give him a mouse to find and bring to bed with us.
--The way he would attack Jer’s feet if Jer went to start playing Wii. The immediate grab for the ankles and achille’s tendon to signify he wanted Jer to play with him instead.
--The way he and Jer would wrestle. Jer would sit on the living room floor, hold his hand above K2’s head, and you would see K2 get all set back into the pounce position, the launch. When he was smaller, Jer would be able to catch him in mid air.
--The fur belt on Jer. The weekend mornings when Jer would just sit and drink coffee on the couch with his feet up on the coffee table. K2 would just come up, plop down on his lap (regardless of whether the computer was there or not), and just crash. Usually preceeded by several minutes of bathing himself, but he loved to sleep on Jer’s lap. Especially if Jer was wearing the grey flannel sweatpants. I’m convinced he thought they had the same fur that way.
--The little hunter. He loved to hunt. Toys, mice, Fi, bugs. I’ve never seen a cat kill a fly so fast. He would leap nearly six feet in the air, swat the bug on a wall like a hammer, then eat up. He was good that way. No leaving dead bugs around. The funniest ones were to watch him chase moths. Lamps, tables, and vases were no obstacle to his chase.
--His feather on a stick acrobatics. You could get him to run in a circle so fast, or leap into full back flips with a twist chasing that thing. Course, it was one of the less comfy toys he would drag to bed with us.
--His stupid cat trick moments chasing his own tail. The best part of it though was that he could keep himself amused for long periods of time doing it. No human intervention required.
--His long body with longer hind legs. Gave him this great leaping power, like a puma. But could also give him the funniest ways of sitting either half hunched over, or with his front legs off to the side. Never looked comfy, but he never seemed to mind.
--His way of leaping at his cat condo. Especially if it was during his zero to crazy cat fly by’s. If he was in full play, he would leap at the top of that cat condo so hard that it would crash into the window and teeter before stabilizing. He would just sit there unfazed.
--His absolute need to shove every hair tie under a rug. Just more of his way to make the prey hide from him, so he could stalk it even further.
--His cute little kitten way to cry and paw at you to get your attention. Whether it was for a treat, wet food, to play with a toy, or simply to wrestle with you.
--His Houdini like ability to climb up the pet gate, balance on top of it, and then get down between the gate and screen door, to be able to push his way outside. He suffered many a dousing by the water bottle for this one.
--The way he’d wrap his little kitten arms around you when you carried him. Especially if you let him out in the side yard with you. He’d first aim straight for a pile of dirt to role in. Then he’d be off to check out all the grass and leap like a puma all the way across the yard. You’d be running to keep up with him. But when you picked him up to bring him in, he’d just wrap his paws around you and purr like mad.
--His love for anything high. Loved being on top of the closets. But mostly LOVED ladders. That cat was like a Cirque du Soleil act in climbing any ladder, even if it was put away and flat against a wall. He would literally campus his way up the thing.
--His love to drink whatever you were drinking. No glass of water was sacred. If you brought out a glass of water, he would first drink for a bit from it, then begin dipping his paws in it to bathe. It was always a mess. But the best was his love to drink from Jer’s margarita’s. We were never sure if it was the ice he loved, or just that he was sharing whatever daddy was drinking.
--His deep motor boat purr. You could come up to him all sprawled out on the bed in an afternoon nap, wrap your arms around him and lie down with him, and rub your hands up under his chin. He’d lazily lift up his head, eyes still closed to let you pet him under his chin, then curl over more on his back to nap away with you.
--And in the end, his endless curiosity. We always said he could never be an outdoor cat. He’d be too riveted to whatever he was chasing that he’d never notice a car. And sure enough, that is exactly what happened. I just wish we had had just one chance. That this first time he’d ever gotten out that we might have escaped with a warning and gotten him home unscathed. But we didn’t get that chance. And I’m so sorry. Sorry that his life was cut short after only two short years. Sorry that I’ll never get to see him continue to grow. But mostly, I’m just sorry for all the reasons above and that I will never get to have those moments again with him.

So if you are still reading this, first I thank you for caring enough to read about our kitten and how much he meant to us. But I will also get to my point. Jer and I have finally decided what we really want for a wedding gift. In Thailand, the Korat is considered a sign of good luck. And it's a tradition to give a newly married couple a pair of Korat kittens for luck. And while I know that K2 can never be replaced, I hope that by bringing a pair of new Korat kittens into our lives that we may still see that spirit and love that was in him. I found a breeder in Nebraska that will have a litter of kittens come October/November and I'm going to place a 'hold' on two of them. If you would like to donate to our adopting our "K3" and "K4", then you will have given us an amazing wedding gift.

As a second option, please make a donation to the Humane Society for us. They do such an amazing service in finding homes for so many pets, and without them, we never would have found K2 and Fionn. We've created a wedding gift registry with the Humane Society:http://www.idofoundation.org/cgi-bin/viewdonations.cgi?OccasionID=37469

Or you can donate directly to the Boulder County Humane Society at:

https://hsbv.boulderhumane.org/hsbv/sub_donate.asp

To understand more about Korats and why K2 was "who he was", please check out:

http://www.iams.com/iams/en_US/jsp/IAMS_Page.jsp?pageID=CBD&breedPage=korat.html

Upcoming

So not really an actual blog. More just a preview for upcoming topics.

Greek Food (This one is all Jer's.)
Other Activities to Do in Kalymnos besides climbing.
Santorini
Athens

Stay tuned!

To Register or Not to Register

Jer and I have been getting asked lately about where we are registering. This has brought up a fun round of discussions. All in all, Jeremy and I don't particularly want to register. We bought our house together over two years ago. And before that we each lived on our own for more than a decade. (Please don't start doing the math.) But the point is that we have everything we need. I can only think of the reasons behind why a bride and groom traditionally have received gifts when they wed, and that was to start a new household as they would each leave their parents'. We obviously do not fit this definition. And frankly it's a good thing. I'm pretty sure my parents are fresh out of two goats and a cow to give his parents as my dowry. Although Jeremy really likes goat cheese!

And the other reason we're opposed to registering is because while we love our families and friends, the economy is pretty dismal. And the last thing I want to do is ask the people I love to spend their money on buying things that we simply don't need. The only gift I could ask for is the one I am already receiving simply just by having this wedding. And I honestly couldn't begin to ask for more than to marry Jeremy and be surrounded by my family and friends in an amazing place.

I have, however, been informed that while this logic all makes sense, I am overlooking the fact that giving us a gift is simply an expression of happiness for us and a way to share in our new life together. Simply put; that our friends and family may still want to give us a gift simply because they are happy for us. So we will leave the decision up to you. Let the polling begin. But I warn you. No whining if you see us register for a set of rubber baking spatulas and a new couch.

The Joys of Dress Shopping

For those who know me, you know I'm not exactly a fashion focused girl. So I've been looking on the dress shopping experience with a bit of trepidation. Early on, I thought I had found the perfect solution. I had found a dress on JCrew that I thought would be perfect for our wedding. And don't get me wrong, it looked great on and looked like it was made for me. So after I tried it on, I (in-typical-Kim fashion) called a couple friends to let them know. Everyone was super excited, asking me if I loved it. I believe my response was, "uh, sure. I won't have to have it altered." After I told Holly about it and telling her that I'd need her to see if and give me her opinion, she was convinced that this dress was just going to be horrible. Or at the very least not that great and then get herself into the sensitive territory of trying to be honest with me about not liking the dress. But once she saw the dress, her response was, "Wow. I really like it. I didn't expect to after hearing you talk about it, but it's really perfect." However, I decided to take my friend Jen's advice and at least go to to a bridal shop and look at all my options. Apparently the word is that you are supposed to just know "it" once you've found the right dress. hmmmm. My skepticism was high, but I agreed to at least rule out any other options.

There are some good reasons why I was trying to avoid this. One, I find dress shopping painful. And I hate to ask friends to come sit and just watch me play fashion-plate Barbie. Two, I'm horrible when I am given too many options. Life it easier for me to make a practical decision and avoid the stress. And lastly, and most embarassing to admit, I was afraid to crack the door on my own 'princess' complex. I mean, this is truly the one day--short of being invited to a White House dinner--when a girl will get to wear the big, fruffy dress. And no matter that I think weddings are 'overrated' and that it's only the marriage that truly matters, I do still have that little girl in the back of my brain that wants to be in the "princess" dress.

So Holly bravely and graciously agreed to accompany me in this moment. It wasn't as horrible as I feared. Holly has a great eye, and did an amazing job picking out dresses for me to try on. However, I did end up having my feared panic-stricken princess moment. I found a beautiful dress that I fell in love with. However, the dress was also full tafetta with an eight-foot train. Weighed over 10 pounds. Our wedding in Greece was NOT going to handle a ten lb tafetta dress. Not to mention the boat trip over to the church and the five flights of wooden stairs. Simply put, it was way too much dress for our "elopement-plus" wedding. However, it took an angst striken night of sleep to drive this rational argument home. Not to mention, Jeremy would not have been able to simply wear a pair of khakis and a button down shirt. As I brought the whole issue to Jer, I just wailed and cried but told him he could not simply just say, "Do whatever makes you happy." So after I finished my tirade, I looked at him sitting silently, and said "Aren't you going to say anything?" He said, "Nope. You told me I couldn't say what I'm thinking." sigh. I hate when he's right.

So we bravely ventured out once again. This time we were armed with some photos of dresses I was interested in. I had done extensive research and found several dresses that I believed would be the perfect cross between soft and flowy (i.e. lightweight), relaxed and casual, yet still a wedding dress. This journey took Holly and I down to parts of Denver we'd never ventured to. But this was the only store in the area that carried the designer I was looking for. This dress trial process was slightly more 'interesting'. While the first store seemed to stock all their rack dresses in my exact size, this second store apparently catered to a slightly more robust clientele. But strangely, trying on a wedding dress in size 22 and having to pin over half the dress behind me seemed to take the edge off the experience. And low and behold....I found a dress. Soft, flowy, lightweight and beautiful. Was it the one in the photo I brought in. Nope. Not even similar. But perhaps that's the lesson learned for my oh-so practical side.

Almost Harder to Stay Unmarried

As part of the fun in deciding to get married overseas, Jer and I have to make sure that everything is legal and legit in Colorado. But ironically, in Colorado it's almost harder to stay 'unmarried.' Colorado is one of the easiest common law marriage states. When Jeremy and I were buying our house two years ago, everyone kept telling us that we were 'common law' just for having jointly owned property. Talk about an awkward conversation with your mom when you tell her you accidentally got married on a technicality. In Colorado, there is no time period specified for how long you have to live together that defines common law. If you own property together, have a joint bank account or file taxes jointly, and represent yourselves as married in public, you are common law in the eyes of the state. For this reason, while we have the first two elements, we've been very insistent to our friends that we are NOT married.

So then, what will it take to get married overseas but still be legit in Colorado? Don't be surprised when you see this:

1. Go down to the County Clerk's office 31 days before we wish to get married to apply for a license.
2. Be over 18. Check. (Though if you are under 16, you can still get married with consent of parents or guardian, and judicial approval. Just bizarre...)
3. Don't be related. No blood test required. Check.
4. Both the bride and the groom must complete and sign the marriage license application. The license fee is $30.00. Each applicant must bring proof of identity and birth date, such as a current U.S. driver's license or a current passport.

• Applicants for a marriage license do not need to be Colorado residents.
• A marriage license may be obtained in any Colorado county and used within the State.
• Parties are not required to apply for a marriage license in the county where the ceremony will take place nor in the county where they reside.

Seriously. Could this be any easier? Just have both of us show up and have our driver's licences with us. We could even get a hunting and fishing license at the same time with no extra effort.

And how about the ceremony? Couples themselves may solemnize their own marriage. Wow. This essentially means that we could walk out front of the courthouse, scream "We are married", walk back in and sign the bottom of the sheet and be completely legit.

Others who can solemnize a marriage are judges, retired judges, magistrates, public officials, Indian tribe officials and clergy. But ironically, not anyone can solemnize a marriage. Although the couple may solemnize their own marriage, that does not mean a friend or relative can also solemnize their marriage. hmmmm...unless somehow your friend also happens to be ordained to perform marriage ceremonies. This interesting bit of information, along with some advice from Liz has led us to our preferred solution. Father Will. A little known fact is that anyone can become an ordained minister online. And Jer and I decided that our preferred option would be to be married by our friend, Will. And he has accepted. Though I'm not sure if it's the lure of becoming Prophet Will that is the motivating factor. But either way, we think the idea is perfect. It allows us to be married by someone we know and who actually knows us, who suits our personalities perfectly, and maintain the closeness and intimacy of a small ceremony. And since Colorado is so accomodating, that even if Will cannot make it to the wedding, Jeremy and I can always marry ourselves in front of a Greek fisherman blathing on about the Crimean War.